Friday, December 05, 2014

The Life Float God's Thrown Me

Praise God for making this Bad Boy to get me through life's roller-coasters AND to remind me when I doubt what true love is! Thank you Bucky (my rock) for helping me see clearly what is really important when I don't understand this crazy world!
When God created my horse Bucky, he made me a life float that he  knew I'd need from time to time to keep me from drowning. From the moment I laid eyes on this prankster, I knew. I didn't need to ride him. I knew. He sized me up with a look out of one-eye that spoke right to my are T.R.O.U.B.L.E...but you "see" me for who I am, and I knew.

He challenges me. He infuriates me. He makes me laugh. He worries me...but most of all, he loves me and relishes in that I love him. He respects me and has learned to trust me. Bucky can be an insecure, worry-wort like me at times. I keep Omeprazole in stock for us both just in case!

Bucky makes bad choices A LOT like me too. Some more costly than others! Bucky has needed me and I have needed him. Bucky is smart. He knows that he is lucky to have me and that my love has blessed him and probably even saved him. I am lucky to have him.

Ironically, the great relationship heartbreaks of my life to date, have occurred during the time I've owned Bucky. Relationships scare me! It's hard for me to let "people" in. Bucky helped give me the courage to let a few in. Bucky was in my engagement photos over my shoulder, and he gave me a shoulder to lean on and cry into when my marriage fell apart. When I didn't understand which way I was coming or going. When my usual ability to make clear decisions was gone. When my trust in myself and people was shattered. When those who spoke of love didn't show it. When I saw control, manipulation, and insults being fired at me like bullets, Bucky was my shield. My love for Bucky and my responsibility to take care of him, kept me from fading away and drowning! Thank God for Bucky for preventing me from disappearing and for giving me the strength to do what I needed to in order to take care of us both.

When men in my life have said they'd be there, but failed to elaborate that they really meant they'd also be there for Barbie, Heather, and Jill...Bucky has truly been there for me! Loyal. Accepting. True....keeping me afloat. One of these days, I'm going to get better at "seeing" a good Bucky!

Until then, I'm going to keep learning from Bucky. How to be brave enough to cautiously trust as it is earned. To respect when shown respect. There are and will always be plenty of wolves in sheep's clothing out there. They are their own undoing in time. Don't allow their cowardice and emotional limitations to be your undoing too.  Recognize their limitations for what they are and pray they grow and evolve into what they are meant to become. Too bad they don't have a life float like Bucky.  I will learn from Bucky how to look closely and size up what may be worth another shot at earning my trust and respect. Come to think of it, I bet if I asked Bucky, he'd say..."Why don't you keep an eye out for a man just like me silly human? An extra life float may not be a bad idea for you? Just saying. Now, give me a treat!" 

Hum....told you Bucky was smart!